Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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