he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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