The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
