I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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