He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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