I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
you inspire me to be a worse person
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
