i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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