Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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