you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
