He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
