sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize