what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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