He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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