If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
