i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
