Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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