just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
