There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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