Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
