dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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