if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
