we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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