Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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