His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My breasts were aching with rage.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
