i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
