She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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