thus making me awesome and them whores
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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