Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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