if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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