She is in my trunk
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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