The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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