Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
