You made me cry and you don't even care
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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