i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
