I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
