Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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