dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
