Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
