Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
