Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
