I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize