Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
