We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
