she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
