I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
