somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
