when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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