yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize