We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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