just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
i need to put some appletini on your dick
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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