Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

i think i have herpe

(1-916): View more from California

just one?

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(925): View more from California

Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up

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(219): View more from Indiana

Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role

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(619): View more from California

It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.

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(519): View more from Ontario

Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.

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(417): View more from Missouri

Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Dude chill patience is a virtue.

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce

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