CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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