have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
why do cheetos always look like penises
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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