I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
and you fell through a lawn chair
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