I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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