Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
