im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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