somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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