I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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