Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
