Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
