Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
