The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
