you guys were way drunker than both of me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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