Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize