I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
