Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
