please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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