i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
