the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
