i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
