Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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