we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
