take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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