I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
