Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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