You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
