with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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