It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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