How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
