A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize