i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize