I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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