Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
