i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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